There used to be a time when parents were the boss of the house, the children obeyed- no questions asked, and the family used to be a teeming place for fun and frolic under a constant watch and foliage of the grandparents. With changing time but, the concept of family changed as well. The big nuclear families became small nuclear families. Parents renounced the old parenting methods to embrace new ones in a desperate attempt to befriend their growing children rather than assuming their role as the peacekeeper and rule-maker of the home. But even now, the children have been observed to be as distant to their parents as ever. Apparently, just being friendly is not the way to get to know your growing kids.

In order to get closer to their children, parents try to seek every fine detail of their lives- information like where they go, what they do with their friends, and what is going on with them. And while all of this is okay to a given extent, sometimes excessive intrusion into their lives by parents turns kids reluctant to share any information with them at all. Parents forget that their children do have friends in their own age group and need their parents to be supportive and understanding rather than choking them with constant probation.

A report on adolescent children said that children seek real guidance in their growing years more than friendship. The peer pressure and growing awareness of their own bodies make the children agitated, short-tempered, and sometimes violent even. Children in this age group like to explore and experiment and parents need to give them their personal space. But that does not mean that you can leave your children be like loose marbles on the floor. Parents need to talk to their children in their growing years. The timing of the conversation is as important as the content of it. Approach your children when they are willing to talk and open to receiving your views. Inform them about the right and the wrong, back their decisions, let them know that you stand by them through thick and thin. And while doing all this, also give them a set of rules to live by which they voluntarily adapt to rather than the rules imposed upon them.

Last, of all, try being your children’s friends but know where to cut them slack so they can spread their own wings.